if you need a reason as to why youre here...epanouissement

travels aside, my day-to-day life here is kinda interesting, i suppose, but honestly, i dont know where the last two months have gone. each day drags in the morning, yet it's over so quickly, especially now that darkness drops in by 18h or so...

i still have not really fallen into a daily rhythm, so it's hard to talk about 'a day in the life' for me. one of the biggest frustrations the first month was that my teachers, while very friendly, were not all that helpful in regards to planning my lessons. they know that im not a teacher and that i ahe no prior experience, but they were all just like "do whatever you want!" which im sure thay thought was what i wanted to hear - but in fact that was the exact opposite of what i needed! the levels of each section vary enormously, and in some of the schools i see different sections every week. although im only in the schools for about 12 hours/week, i spend at least 2 hours a day musing over what i can do with them that interesting and educational and off-beat and wishing for some consistency.

VALERY: 4 groups of new faces every week -> last week, after coming back from the holiday, i put my foot down, though, and insisted that the teachers either give me the same group for a few weeks in a row, so that i can actually recognize the kids and make some progress, or else be more forthcoming with what they're working on and how i can better support their lesson plans. and it's working - ive actually gotten some emails with ideas and i think ive succeeded in having at least on section every week from now until the christmas break. i mean, one day last week a student that i vaguely recognized said 'Hello!' to me on the bus and i had no idea what school she was from! it was a little awkward, and it took me 2 days to place her as a student from Valery.the teachers are very easy to talk to - this morning i had a good talk with Olivier, another young teacher that i'll start working with in the next few weeks - but they arent very strict in the classroom, so im plagued with students that talk all through class, even when the teacher is there, which is unfortunate, because there are always at least a handful of students that are really interested.

ZAY: slice of heaven -> ultimately it's interesting to see the classroom from the teacher's point of view, and i understand now how disheartening it can be to see kids that understand the lesson but are too shy to speak up and how exhausting it is to try to quiet the chatterboxes. another challenge is that my kids at Zay are in the "European" program, which means they have 5 hours of english/week, rather than just 3 - and even my youngest there, the 5e (12 years old) are more advanced than the 3e (15 yrs) at Valery! Zay is pretty much my fave - the teachers are nice (i had dinner with 2 of them right before Toussaint) and give me lesson ideas and the kids are polite and actually speak english! luckily i work there tues/wed, so it gives me a much needed boost midway through the week and reminds me that some of my students care about what im doing and are actually making the most of my time! my lessons with this school don't always work in the other schools, since i can do more advanced things - i mean, i can prep something for the 5es here and use it with the 3e at Valery... this week was awesome. i did DC monument stuff with the 5e, just 2 articles about the Lincoln and Washington monuments, since im a little homesick (been watching the west wing in french, which is enough to make anyone want to be in the district) and the kids were SO EXCITED about each reading a paragraph! and they asked great vocab questions and we worked on numbers (like the hard ones, like 15,506 and stuff) and decimals and all that. it was great. and the next day, with the 4e, i did NYS stuff - a map, a crossword and a reading about the statue of liberty - as they were walking into the room, they were already speaking english and asking to read. which also looked great for me, since i was in there talking to another english teacher! so yah, Zay makes me happy all-around.

that all being said, i just got back from my classes at Valery, and i had a lot of fun today. i had 6e and 5e, and they were pretty decent...we did some thanksgiving activities and they got really into it and i just got to joke around the whole time. here you eat turkey for noel, so they thought thanksgiving was christmas...they kept getting sidetracked with questions about me and my lotus tattoo, but ive decided as long as they speak in english i dont really care what we talk about...the lesson was to divide vocab words into people, places and foods, but there were also trick words that didnt fit into any category, ie thankful - but i totally had a semi-philosophical conversation with a girl who wanted to put thankful as a place, since your sentiments are in your heart and mind...it was too cute. others put turkey as a place, since they were thinking of the country, which i thought was generally fantastic. with another section i just did introduction questions; they were psyched with the, like, 4 photos i brought in (i havent brought pix to my other classes, i dunno why - they love it!) - they'd been asking if my "sister that has 18 years has the same face as me" (brittness! they like you since youre kinda the same-ish age!) and get this. when the groups switched (i had each half for 25 min),they were so excited to tell the teacher about me that even 2 kids that have never spoken voluntarily wouldnt stop talking. amazing. everyone asked when i was going to work with them again...so right now im feeling good about teaching....but it still gives me butterflies before each class....

of course im not really just teaching, even though it feels like im always thinking about it...one of my faves is going for tea at tasse et glace a few times a week. i usually meet mandy, since we're joined at the hip apparently, or i run into the other assistants, who have all fallen in love with t et g as well. i miss the MT insanity, but it's such an easy little pleasure to go for a tea or cappuccino (really, it's the only place that doesnt wreck a cap but doing burnt coffee with a spoon of foam) and just chat or read...apparently the owner, emmanuel, thought i was english (score!) and knows me as"the one that reads." accurate. every time we travel, i seek out the best coffee joint - found one in the 'bourg that i love, as well as one in Kehl, Germany....and i love those coffee machines in the gares and at school like nothing else. really. last week i had 1h30 between classes, and since the school is near the train station, i almost went there just to get my cheap ghetto coffee. but i resisted the urge, it seemed too weird.

the wind here is more intense than i ever thought possible. i have wind-swept hair and pink cheeks permanently. this morning i was waiting for the bus, watching some birds trying to fly into the wind and they couldnt. this afternoon walking home, the wind knocked me over a bit. went out for lunch and i was still shivering when we left; it's that kind of in-your-bones cold. and it's just nov. but i like to find the silver lining when i can, and at least walking in the wind is a double workout! after a month of tired/lazy/scared of getting lost, ive finally started running and the wind makes that super intense, too. i need a fleece headband...but i have my awesome coldgear pants that are the most comfortable amazingness ever and there are 5 nice hills behind my house and flat roads that are fairly country-ish, so i can make kind of a star-shaped tour in an hour and by then my ankles are screaming and im back home! so that works well...as for the bike that i bought, well...it's in the garage. valence is kinda too small to take the bike out and have to find somewhere to lock it up (i can walk anywhere i need in under 30 min), and i havent looked for good roads to just ride for exercise, but my goal is to do that before winter sets in. but it will be good to have in the spring, and in life in general.

living in other houses that arent my own is not my favorite thing, although the free wifi is pretty nice...so my mantra is find a job toute de suite that allows me to live sans roommates. it's not that they're not nice - they are, although i rarely talk to them - but theres just a persistant feeling of unease...it was the same in paris: nice people, nice set-up, but it's not mine. they think im funny bc i dont like to cook and just make soup and vegetables everyday...whatever. i watch the news every night since i cant seem to find the time to read the paper anymore (i think my attn span has become shorter over here) and sometimes i watch the shows that come on afterwards...mtv in french is hilarious and good for learning slang...i found the west wing dubbed, which made me smile for 2 days, and the other night Freaky Friday "Dans le peau de ma mere" was on. looooooooove it. i still like the excuse that watching tv is good for my listening comp, but it's true! i think my french is getting better, i def feel comfortable speaking almost all the time, and ive learned more random vocab..i mean, it's understanding weird accents and kids that speak really poorly, really quickly, and learning words like "courge" (bone marrow) and "meduse" (jellyfish) that equal fluent, you know? it's also encouraging when people tell me that i speak well and express their happiness/surprise that an american would take the time to learn another language and PREFER to speak french rather than english. my kids like helping my pronunciation, too (i got a whole tutorial on how i need to role the "r" in "greve"). i think it's kinda encouraging for them to see that i make mistakes sometimes too, but that learning another language isnt impossible. i mean, sometimes i want to crawl under the table when i hear the teachers speaking english, it's that wrong...and ive learned not to mind when they mimic the american accent. the first time that happened i was annoyed and thought the girl was mocking me, but now i get that it actually is different - and difficult - for them.

what else? i dunno...im reading in french more...trying not to worry too much about what im going to do this summer...enjoying free time and goofing around with the other assistants...window-shopping for new shoes...generally i think it's pretty cool what im doing, at least the whole becoming french thing, and i love just savoring the experience and meeting people and noticing the little differences between life here and life in paris and life in the district. i need to go to the movies. i want to take a class (writing, drawing, dance...whatever. now that i have money, i just need to be decisive). i want to ride my bike!

oh yah, and i started working in the wine store in Tain, with Georges. i'll post about that later on, if it actually works out...