at large

first off, thanks a million to everyone that sent my good vibes before and around the time of my peace corps interview this past monday, it really boosted my confidence to know that my fam is behind my endeavors. and so....ive been nominated!! woohooo what does that mean? well, ive passed all the preliminary hurdles - basic info, recommendations, fingerprinting at the french police station, transcripts, interview, all that fun stuff. i hope that someday i have the chance to interview people, because i seriously dont know what i said that convinced her that i was a qualified applicant, but my recruiter fortunately made sense of my ramblings and abhorrent franglais - understood the general message that i am open-minded, excited, and able to learn on the go - and nominated me. this means that i am now in a pool of applicants for a program - all the specifics that i have at this point is that it is to work on english teacher training in asia, leaving in august. not too much to go on, but the the PC is active in Mongolia, China, Thailand, Cambodia and the Philippines, so those are some pretty sweet options.

there are two things weighing heavily on my mind right now, regarding the prospect of actually receiving an assignment: 1) vegetarianism and 2) rural village/my recent breakdown over how "small" valence is. as far as vegetarianism is concerned, i had to fill out a separate questionnaire about my diet, my reasons for being veg (i decided that it would not be so appropriate to mention the fact that veggies are clearly more highly evolved than meat eaters, even though that goes without saying), whether i would be willing to modify my diet for health purposes, and what i would do in the event that my host family or community offered me a meal that was (entirely) meat-based. and as you likely know, vegetarianism has pretty much been the one constant in my life, and recently, after reading such awesome books as 'What we eat: why our food choices matter' and 'The omnivore's dilemma' (HIGHLY recommend both, and next on the list once im back in the states will be 'In defense of food'), ive become even more aware of what i eat and trying not to eat chemicals and choosing local produce when possible and all that fun stuff, and veganism is a real goal of mine....so the thought of putting all that aside is daunting. i know it sounds silly, but i really really dont WANT to eat meat. or fish. frankly, although i responded that i would keep an open mind and that integrating in the community takes precedence (which it does, clearly), i havent eaten dead flesh of any sort in more than 5 years - and even longer for meat and poultry - and i have NO idea how my body would react the first few times...and im sure that barfing would be just as insulting as refusing to eat...so thats an interesting thing to ponder.

the second issue is that i currently feel like im going insane in valence. because it is small. im a city person....so 2 years in a rural village where i am quite possibly going to be the only outsider? i mean, it's a typical thing to consider when applying, but i just feel more than a little shame due to my recent (and ongoing) meltdown. im sure that with the PC i will be so overwhelmed with work and trying to fit in and learning the language and all these things that it might not even become a problem, at least not as quickly as it's been a problem here, but still. i dont think it's a reason not to go - frankly, being a strict veg would be a better reason to not do this....but still, these are the questions and fears that im mulling over right now. just because, now that im nominated, it's a much more real possibility.

i still have to clear medical, aka doctor and dentist visits in la france, yippee! (it's good for my french/immersion over here, tho, so it's ok) and it's certainly not a done deal that i'm going anywhere, but teresa, my recruiter, said that i have a strong portfolio what with my french/language skills and the fact that im already living and working abroad. i'll keep you posted on as the process moves forward...keep your fingers crossed!!